Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Rush Through Life’s Milestones?

 

Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Rush Through Life's Milestones? Farm Girl, Notting Hill, Leopard Print Slip, French Bulldog Latte

 

I’ve recently come to a realisation, and it’s pretty profound. Your life is moving at the exact speed it’s supposed to. I don’t know if I believe in fate as such, but I do think that everything happens for a reason and steps of my life that I’d have happily hit fast-forward through are integral to the person I am today, and to where I’ll be in the future too. Deep shit right there, I know. See the thing is, I’ve spent a lot of my life attempting to rush through the milestones assuming that once I hit a certain age or progress to the next step my life will truly begin. Surely I’m not alone in this foolishness? I can’t say that I had a eureka moment as such, but I  have come to understand that life begins from the moment you take your first breath, and everything that falls into place after that point is all a part of the journey. And yes, I want to strangle me right now for all these repulsive cliches, and for using the word journey in any other context than the M25. 

The problem with cliches is that they’re usually true. We get so caught up in waiting for the next big step to happen, or simply wanting more and assuming that at a certain point in time it will all magically spring together, that we forget to actually make the most of the here and now. When I was 11 I remember walking home from school with my friend Megan. We would see all the older girls and they seemed so grown up. They had boyfriends, they wore bras and lipstick. They evidently – at the ripe old age of 17 – had their shit together and were living their lives. You can imagine then, how pissed off I was on the eve of my seventeenth birthday when the ‘adoring’ boyfriend had broken up with me (by text) a few days before, my boobs were still only a B cup on a good day and I still wore those 7Up and Fanta flavoured Smackers (seriously though, can we bring those back?) 

 

Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Rush Through Life's Milestones? Farm Girl, Notting Hill, Leopard Print Slip Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Rush Through Life's Milestones? Farm Girl, Notting Hill, Leopard Print Slip, French Bulldog Latte

 

Yesterday I sat the first of my university finals; in just 29 short days I will have officially bid farewell to education forever. Surely that’s when my life really begins? When I got my timetable through at the beginning of March I was initially a bit miffed that my exams finish two weeks later than I’d anticipated. In reality, it had nothing to do with my revision stamina and far more to do with the fact that I am desperate to graduate. In part, my haste is justified; I have a business that I am eternally proud of waiting for me, travels to start planning and a crushing weight awaiting its ascent off of my shoulders. Part of me wonders though, if this is  just another element of my yearning to dive head first into the next chapter of my life. 

I don’t think it’s just me that feels this pressure. In general we – as a generation, as a society – are not particularly good at recognising the beauty in where we are in life in this precise moment. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself, but there is with sitting around unfulfilled just waiting for that dream job to come along, that dead beat relationship to run its course or that gym membership to work its self out. I’m not really into this ‘just follow your dreams’ spiel because whilst I really do wish that every single person could just rise every morning and pursue their hearts desire, the reality is that there are bills to pay, responsibilities to live up to and obligations to fulfil. It’s too easy to say that if you’re unhappy in a situation you should just change it because it’s rarely that simple, but if you’re waiting for the universe to change it for you then you’re going to be lacklustre for a very long time.

I tend to find that even those I know who are most content with their lives – and honestly right now I’m pretty good mates with mine – are still yearning for the next milestone. Those sparkling graduate jobs have their eyes on partnership. The gorgeous rented flat just wants to be owned. The fairytale relationship wants a ring. I know I’m generalising, but the gist applies to most situations and the reality is that whilst there are always going to be higher mountains to climb (somebody please shoot me), bigger pay cheques to earn and older, wiser versions of ourselves to be, maybe – just maybe – we are exactly where we are supposed to be in this very moment. 

 

Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Rush Through Life's Milestones? Farm Girl, Notting Hill, Leopard Print Slip, Topshop Straw Bag Why Are We in Such a Hurry to Rush Through Life's Milestones? Farm Girl, Notting Hill, Leopard Print Slip, French Bulldog Latte

 

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Photography: Kaye Ford

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9 Comments

  1. May 1, 2018 / 4:31 pm

    This is such a refreshing post! Lots of ‘inspiring change your life’ posts I read never acknowledge that sometimes you can’t just drop everything and do what you want.
    I am very much at that point in my life where everyone asks “when are you getting married, when are you buying somewhere to live, when are you having kids? what’s next? what’s next?” And actually, I’m pretty with where I am right now!

    • Beth Sandland
      May 1, 2018 / 6:29 pm

      Thanks for the comment babe! Exactly! Usually where we are is pretty alright…our time will come for the rest xxx

  2. May 1, 2018 / 5:59 pm

    This is all so true! We all rush things way to much and are always looking forward for the next moment of our life that we kind of forget to enjoy the moment that we are living. Things happen at their own pace and we just have to accept and enjoy it!
    Really enjoyed reading this post . Also, love your outfit! x

    http://www.thelisasworld.com

  3. May 1, 2018 / 6:39 pm

    I loved reading this, it was so lovely written! I agree completely with all of this – I think in our twenties there is so much pressure [from ourselves and sometimes others] for us to hit certain milestones by a specific deadline – we just forget to enjoy where we are right now. Im definitely guilty of this! X

  4. May 1, 2018 / 8:26 pm

    It’s so true. We live in a world where everything is about bigger and better and thinking that everything will fall into place when such and such happens – the truth is it doesn’t – life will always be full of ups and downs. There’s enjoyment to be had too but its important like you said to appreciate the here and now.

    http://www.franklyflawless.com

  5. May 2, 2018 / 3:55 pm

    I went through this same exact mind fuck about a year ago. I was going to graduate, and I thought my life was finally going to start after I graduate. I was so far from the truth, that it was crazy. Now looking back, I think about how far off I was, and realize that I’m in no rush at all to reach any more milestones, I’m happy with everything I accomplished, and while I’m constantly working hard to reach my goals, I’m not in any rush to hit certain milestones anymore. Great post Beth 🙂 xx

    Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com

  6. May 3, 2018 / 10:37 pm

    I really do need to take this post properly on board. October to February, I worked myself so hard in the hope of saving more for a home that I completely ran myself to the ground. I ended up having to quit my job before of how much stress it was putting on me, and since, I’ve realised that I’m only 20 and I don’t need to be running on zero in order to save for a house because I don’t need to buy a house when I’m 20, and not owning a home now is perfectly normal! I fully believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that right now, I don’t need to be putting so much pressure on myself for something that isn’t absolutely vital.. ✨

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