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Beth Sandland

The First Trimester: My Pregnancy Diary

01/12/2021 · Home

First Trimester: Pregnancy Diary

The first 13 weeks of pregnancy – the first trimester – is, I think, the hardest. There’s a lot of worry involved, often a lack of support and the future feels very fragile. It can also feel very exciting! Physically, the first trimester is incredibly draining without the satisfaction of a gorgeous bump or a happily kicking baby that the later trimesters bring. Before writing about my first trimester I wanted to write about getting through it from the perspective of pregnancy after loss: you’ll find that piece here. Whilst I can’t possibly remove that element from my first trimester journey, I did want to separate them out as blog posts in an attempt to look back on those first 3 months without focusing solely on the torment I felt. They read nicely side by side for a full picture!


Finding out I was pregnant

I took a test on a sunny Saturday morning in August. I didn’t actually know I was pregnant when I took it – at least not consciously anyway – but if I were to be really honest with myself I probably had been ignoring small signs in the week or so before. My boobs were sore and the smell of my husband’s smoked salmon sandwich made me leave the room.

I took a test because some random inkling told me I should; we were going for a pub lunch that afternoon and I wanted to know whether to drink or not. I’d woken up hungover after too much wine in the sun the day before. That’s an element I wasn’t sure about sharing for fear of judgement, but so many women continue to drink and behave as usual right up until the moment they find out they’re pregnant and it can then lead to a lot of extra “did I do something wrong?” worry and stigma. I stressed about it briefly but was reassured that almost every doctor will tell you not to worry about this, it’s so incredibly common. Having done everything ‘right’ previously, including cutting out alcohol well before a positive test, I was also of the mindset that the health and outcome of this pregnancy was certainly not yet up to me or what I did or didn’t do.

I wasn’t really willing to face the reality following our previous losses and my initial feeling when the two lines appeared was numbness. I go into more detail in this post. Nevertheless, that afternoon I sat in the sunshine drinking an alcohol-free beer outside a pub and the first seeds of hope began to very quietly plant themselves.

No morning sickness

I didn’t have any sickness whatsoever during my first trimester. “How sick have you been?” is often one of the very first questions people ask and it’s a narrative I’d love to change. The idea that every single pregnant woman experiences sickness is false, and even more so, the idea that sickness equals a strong pregnancy is incredibly toxic (and again, false). I really, really don’t envy women who have a horrendous time with it, but in that moment I was wishing it upon myself. Desperate to ‘feel’ pregnant, desperate for a sign that everything was going to be okay. The reality is that nausea wouldn’t have actually provided me that but still, I found myself frantically Googling whether it was alright not to be sick. “You’re just lucky!”, I’ve been told since, but I didn’t feel it at the time. I’ve since spoken to loads of women who have had the same concern over a lack of those commonly discussed symptoms and whilst many women do experience sickness in the first trimester, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong for those who don’t.

Exhaustion, sore boobs…A lack of symptoms?

My main and only real symptoms of pregnancy in the first trimester was extreme exhaustion and painful boobs. I convinced myself that perhaps I was just making it up, or worried if one day my nipples didn’t feel sore anymore. As a result I spent a lot of time on Google. I cannot recommend strongly enough that you don’t do this; don’t obsessively search every tiny symptom or change, don’t read forums, don’t allow yourself to pin your hopes or fears on some random snippet on the internet that probably doesn’t apply to you anyway. I know it’s hard.

If I were to describe how I felt during the first trimester in a phrase it would be ‘hungover’. Tired, grouchy, in need of a nap and wanting all the beige and all the sugary foods. For me, the mental side was far more taxing than the physical.

To reiterate in case you need some reassurance; my lack of strong symptoms did not mean anything about the health of my pregnancy. I am sat writing this in my 27th week with a happy, healthy baby growing away in my belly.

Eating all the beige

There’s quite a lot of pressure to suddenly make super healthy choices when you find out you’re pregnant. If you can do that, that’s awesome. All I wanted was carbs and sugar and for the most part, I indulged that. I tried to get some nutrients in through things like smoothies but I also did my best not to guilt trip myself about giving my body what it was asking for.

The same goes for exercise; I didn’t really do any. Unless you’re told otherwise, it’s safe to continue to exercise as you were previously during your first trimester. I didn’t stop because I was worried, rather I just didn’t have the energy or inclination. I tried to walk more and stay active but didn’t always succeed!

Telling people straight away

We never kept this pregnancy a secret. Whilst I didn’t ‘announce’ it until I was 16 weeks, we told our family and close friends literally immediately. I don’t believe in the 12 week rule because it strips away much needed support and implies that before the first scan a baby doesn’t matter as much, or a loss shouldn’t be spoken about. You’ve got to do what’s right for you but where my two pennies are worth, pregnancy can feel very lonely even when you’ve got lots of people around you. Having those close to you sharing in your news can take off a lot of pressure and hopefully offer lots of TLC and support too.

Scans

We had a fair few early scans in this pregnancy, both through the NHS and privately. You can read more about them here. For the sake of this blog post, I’ll focus on the 12 week scan as it’s the one that all women are offered, though I personally recommend an early one around 7-8 weeks to everyone. In other countries the first scan is offered at 8 weeks as standard and I think it’s likely a funding issue that this isn’t the case in the UK.

Our first trimester scan was booked for 13 weeks. The sonographer was lovely and immediately we saw baby wriggling around on the screen which we knew meant that as far as a heartbeat was concerned, all was okay. Cue plenty of ugly crying from me. Despite previous scans at 7, 9 and 11 weeks, this was the first time our baby really did look like one! The change in just two weeks was immense. We could see bones and the shape of a little nose and lips. Baby wouldn’t stay still and was zipping around the screen like a teeny Duracell bunny. The sonographer had me vigorously thrusting my hips up and down and shaking them from side to side to try and subdue baby in to a better position for taking size and nuchal measurements.

I was concerned about the results for the latter, which is a part of the Combined Screening Test that looks for Downs Syndrome amongst other trisomies, but she assured us that the reading looked good. This was confirmed when I received a letter from the hospital a couple of weeks later detailing that the probability of any of these chromosomal conditions was incredibly low.

Hormonal acne

My skin was not happy! I had sore, scabby hormonal spots around my chin. Thankfully it improved drastically when I switched to a Kate Somerville cleanser after being super impressed with their blemish treatment. Have linked below – I really recommend for hormonal skin!

Blemish treatment

EradiKate Daily Cleanser

EradiKate Introduction Kit (great place to start!)

Bloating or a bump?

Most of what constitutes a first trimester bump is just lots of bloating, fluid and gas! Still, that doesn’t stop us sticking our tummies out in the mirror and hugging the space where a teeny tiny human floats around inside. Around 10 weeks I noticed my waistline was definitely thicker, at 12 my clothes felt uncomfortable and at exactly 13 weeks a roundness appeared that had people offering me a seat on the tube.

Everyone carries so differently that even now, I try really hard not to compare. Some people look obviously pregnant by the end of the first trimester and others don’t show for another couple of months.

13 weeks: hello second trimester

I was thrilled to leave the first trimester behind! It didn’t automatically alleviate all my worries by any means but it was a huge milestone. I was also pleased that where the first 13 weeks seemed to crawl by, time seemed to pick up and speed up after this point.

First Trimester Essentials

Okay, trick title. There aren’t any. Aside from your daily vitamins (folic acid and Vitamin D) you don’t need anything special during the first trimester so don’t panic about needing to spend extra money! If you want to treat yourself, go for super cosy loungewear or pyjamas – perhaps in a size up that you can grow into – for those afternoon sofa sessions. If you do feel nauseous, ginger candy can help. I also switched to a decaf version of my favourite tea as I tend to drink 3-4 cups a day (but still had caffeine in chocolate and other drinks). If you want to get prepared for when the bump does appear, I’ve linked my favourite bits below, including super comfy maternity bras.

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Comments

  1. Angie Silver says

    01/13/2021 at 14:19

    I also didn’t experience any sickness during my first trimester (or ever in my pregnancy) so I was also constantly Googling if this was ok.

    Reply
  2. Danielle says

    01/17/2021 at 11:23

    I love reading about other peoples experiences. It is such a blessing and a miracle!

    Danielle xx
    https://www.thereluctantblogger.co.uk/

    Reply

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I am a multi-award winning blogger, photographer and writer from London. I’ve travelled to over 38 countries, lived out of a backpack for a year and love to scuba dive! This site is a destination for all things travel, lifestyle and my successful online book club.

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First Trimester: Pregnancy Diary

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Ad: WARMING GINGER, CHILLI & LEMONGRASS CHICKEN NO Ad: WARMING GINGER, CHILLI & LEMONGRASS CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP RECIPE 🍜💓🥰 
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A hug in a bowl from the inside out, this steaming bowl of sweet and sour broth is the perfect warmer for a moody January day. Taking care of yourself - here in a winter lockdown - is more important now than ever. It’s healthy, fresh and ultra comforting and all the ingredients are easily picked up at @waitroseandpartners during your weekly shop.
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Serves: 4
🌶: Medium heat (warm rather than hot) - add more or less chilli oil to taste!
🥬: Vegan version: skip the chicken, make the broth as is then add peeled and chopped veggies of your choosing instead of the shredded poached chicken.
⏰: 10 mins prep, 90 mins cook time
👩🏻‍🍳: Ease level: foolproof!
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Hit the SAVE button for later! Who’s going to give it a go? #AtHomeWithWaitrose
Tuesday shelfie! About as exciting a caption as we Tuesday shelfie! About as exciting a caption as we’re gonna manage today, on what feels like day 72 of January. If you’re feeling a little spruce up there are 35 neutral homeware pieces for under £30 in a new blog post - link in bio! 🤍
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Everything tagged! Paint is Farrow & Ball Setting Plaster. Shelves are Funky Chunky Furniture. And that’s my lovely dried wedding bouquet 🥰
Nursery pending 👶🏼🌈🎨 I’ve hated this Nursery pending 👶🏼🌈🎨 I’ve hated this room for the last year. After our first loss it completely taunted me and I couldn’t bring myself to do anything with it other than use it as a giant Monica cupboard. It’s been called so many things - ‘the middle room’, ‘the spare room’, it even stayed as ‘Emily’s room’ for a long time after our lodger moved out - but now we finally call it the baby’s room 🥰🤍 #week28 #thirdtrimester #nurserydecoration #pregnancyafterloss
Week 27: extra hormonal, everything is stretching, Week 27: extra hormonal, everything is stretching, bub is the size of a cauliflower in this bizarre compare babies to fruit & veg game...👶🏼🥦🌈
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😭 Hormonal wreck: I haven’t really had mood swings at all throughout pregnancy but oh my goodness have the hormones got me good this week. There have been tears. And hysterical sobbing. Sorry husband.
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🏀 Basketball belly: the stretch is real! My uterus is now firmly up under my ribs and I swear I can feel them slowly pulling apart. I cried when I sneezed - “it’s like someone STABBED me” (see point 1). Everything feels very round and my old belly piercing scar is not thrilled about life...
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👈🏼 Still an innie: ....just. It’s more like a saucer where it was once a cereal bowl.
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🦒 All the cute things: we’ve decided on a neutral safari themed nursery. Says the person who hates themes.
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💸 “But they’re so small...😭”: I’m officially on a tiny clothes shopping ban. I’ve rinsed eBay and some lovely small brands (and the Zara sale) and I get an eye roll every time I smuggle a new parcel into the nursery.
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🥴 Tasting everything 6 times over: Hi reflux.
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📖 Reading: Your Baby, Your Birth by Hollie de Cruz is next on my bedside table.
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#27weekspregnant #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #secondtrimester 
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Two things in life that you just can’t have too Two things in life that you just can’t have too much of: books and tea. My survival tools! ☕️📖💫
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Here are 3 titles I’ve read recently (and rated 5/5 - I’m a harsh critic) that are perfect if you need a pick me up or some escapism...
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1. The Authenticity Project by Clare Pooley: an old man leaves a notebook in a cafe for a stranger to find telling his ‘truth’ and challenging them to do the same. The catalyst for a web of unusual friendships and genuine, warm characters...
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2. Educated by Tara Westover: a memoir that reads a little like a fiction depicting Tara’s life growing up in a strict Mormon family in Idaho with a survivalist father who is battling undiagnosed mental illness. They don’t believe in formal education or medicine and any form of governance is the work of the Illuminati. Covers some heavy themes (tw: abuse) and is extremely interesting and engaging.
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3. Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams: sometimes laugh out loud funny, sometimes poignantly sad, Queenie is a vivacious twenty-something growing up as a black woman in an ever gentrifying south London. A crap boyfriend, covert racism and a battle with anxiety paint a backdrop whilst she navigates daily life. It’s excellent!
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Love a good wedding-stalk? In it for the pics? Wha Love a good wedding-stalk? In it for the pics? What to know *exactly* what a teeny tiny BIG day of just 4 guests might actually look like? Link in bio 👰🏻💓
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Photos:  @victoriasomersethowphotography 
Hair: @whiteman.soho 
Make up: Keeley Wilson MUA
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Plant mom 🌿✌🏼 ⠀ Monty the monstera is go Plant mom 🌿✌🏼
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Monty the monstera is going to start eating dentists soon. My top tips for a super healthy swiss cheese plant -
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🌱 A lovely bright spot away from direct sun (not a problem in winter) and radiators.
🌱 Intuitive watering: stick your finger in and water when the top 2” of the soil are dry, rather than to a set schedule. The amount needed depends on your plant (I use around 700ml approx every 10 days) but make sure you’ve got good drainage!
🌱 Every now and again I like to put it in the garden when it’s raining (in the spring/summer) or under the shower. Rain is best if possible as hard tap water can cause mineral build up on the soil.
🌱 Moss pole! Train it to grow upwards with a strong pole and ties.
🌱 Wipe dust off the leaves (shower also does this) and use a spritz bottle regularly.
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If it’s looking sad it’s probably an issue with water or light! #urbanjungle #monsteramonday
26 weeks: mini diary 🤍 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 26 weeks: mini diary 🤍
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With less than 2 weeks until the final trimester I thought I’d try and document weekly, as much for me to look back on. This photo is already a week old and I seem to be growing by the day!
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What’s the crack this week?...
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😴 Sleepy AF: A new wave of exhaustion has hit. It makes sense - babies generally double their weight between 24-28 wks. I’ve started going to bed earlier/falling asleep at 9pm in front of Bridgerton.
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🤧 Pelvic floor: Sneezing brings ALL the fear!
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🐙 Movement: I saw my belly move from the outside like a scene from Alien for the first time. At bed time it feels like a small octopus is doing the Macarena in my uterus. It’s still the most magical feeling in the world.
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👶🏼 Prep: The pram arrived this week! We ordered it in a brilliant Silver Cross sale. I was feeling a bit flat about the loss of that ‘pram shopping with my bump’ experience due to lockdown but putting it together made me happy - it’s so beautiful! And so surreal - we own a pram!
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📖 Reading: The Positive Birth Book by @milli.hill. It puts across all options in a clear, non-judgey, humorous way and has made me think of things I’d never heard of. It’s also the first time I’ve understood what a birth plan might physically look/read like.
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🧘🏼‍♀️ Hypnobirthing: I’ve started to feel more nervous about the birth (not the actual act or the pain, rather fears I won’t share as don’t want to project) but we’re starting hypnobirthing online next week which I’m looking forward to!
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👯‍♀️ Following: @birth_ed, @takingcarababies, @mixing.up.motherhood are accounts that are bringing joy/invaluable info.
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#26weeks #rainbowbaby🌈 #secondtrimester #pregnancyafterloss
I loved being a pregnant bride. Often a baby is a I loved being a pregnant bride. Often a baby is a reason to delay or speed up a wedding (lots assumed that was the case for us, but it wasn’t!) and is generally seen as perhaps spoiling things a little. It’s totally fine if you do feel that way, but for us it made it extra magical. It felt totally right to have our little bub between us as we exchanged vows and I was happy to embrace the bump in my dress. I still chose exactly the look and fit I wanted and wore the sparkly heels and in a way, I found trying dresses on much lower pressure as I wasn’t worrying about my figure. Perhaps the biggest difference was staying sober and the fact that we had a tiny wedding with a fancy lunch rather than a party probably made this a lot easier. I raised a toast with our four guests but beyond that, I didn’t have any inclination to drink anyway. Bonus - a great nights sleep and no hangover! 🥂👰🏻
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Photographer: @victoriasomersethowphotography
Dress: ASOS
Box fresh kicks ready to explore [from the bedroom Box fresh kicks ready to explore [from the bedroom to the kitchen, to the loo...aaand repeat]...at least they’ll stay clean 🥴☕️
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Type into browser: https://rstyle.me/cz-n/ewjdwzcbq2x (junior size 🤑 if under a UK 5.5)
AD: Pregnancy has given me a lot of time to reflec AD: Pregnancy has given me a lot of time to reflect on my relationship with alcohol over the last year. 🍸 I flitted between giving it up when pregnant or for fertility purposes, then using it as an emotional crutch in loss which made me more anxious and restless. This time - now 6 months pregnant - I haven’t had a drink since August and have been really pleasantly surprised by how little I’ve missed it, even over the festive season. I’m not into vilifying booze; I enjoy a couple of drinks and even the feeling of lowered inhibitions and being tipsy. But I know that even post-pregnancy and the other-side of the hazy newborn/breastfeeding days, I’ll try and maintain a far more positive relationship with alcohol which for me, looks like indulging lightly and occasionally.
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Having access to brilliant alcohol-free alternatives makes this significantly easier. My favourite gin distillers, Salcombe Gin, are behind the @NewLondonLight; a 0% spirit that doesn’t compromise on taste. So whether you’re pregnant, doing Dry January or simply attempting to live lighter, you can still enjoy a Sunday evening tipple. How do you feel about the alcohol free movement?
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Get 20% off with code ‘NLL20Beth’ 🍊 #NewLondonLight #LiveLightNLL #NLL
Top 5 Books I read in 2020 ☕️ ~
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Where the Crawdads Sing, Delia Owens: totally captivating, unusual and enchanting. I literally devoured this one!
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Queenie, Candice Carty-Williams: as well as being laugh out loud funny, Queenie is also an education. A must read on what it’s like to be a young black woman growing up in London. Also tackles mental health really well!
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The Flatshare, Beth O’Leary: I recommend this to anyone who just really needs a hug from a genuinely enjoyable book. It’s warm and lovely but offers depth well beyond your usual chick lit too.
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Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi: this novel is such a triumph! Spanning over 300 years from pre-colonial Ghana to present day USA, each chapter follows a new character in the lineage of two sisters. One sold to slavery, the other married to an English coloniser. It’s sweepingly powerful and incredibly well written. I could’ve read an entire book on each character!
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A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman: Ove was the very first book I read in 2020 and it stuck with me throughout the year. At its most basic, it’s the story of a cantankerous old man. Delve a little deeper and it’s funny, heartbreaking and incredibly heartwarming. I just love Ove!
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Hit the ‘save’ button to come back to this list when you’re in need of a good read! What were your books of the year? 📚
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PS. If more reading, less scrolling is one of your 2021 goals too then don’t forget you can come and join us at @bethsbookclub_ 😎
2 0 2 1: the year of you 🕊🤍
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Happy new year saucepots! We had an ultra rock n’ roll night (read our books in bed then watched the midnight fireworks - that was a nice surprise! - on a phone before falling promptly to sleep...) and today is all about a long walk, a longer bath, books and tea. And obviously starting a new diary because isn’t fresh stationary the best thing about a new year?!
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Are you setting New Years’ resolutions? I prefer a bit of reflection and mindset shifting. This year it’s all about setting firm positive boundaries, protecting my energy and saying no to things/people that don’t serve that. I like the new year, not for the ‘new me’ noise but rather as a chance to let go and embrace a fresh beginning again. ⚡️☕️
As far as NYE outfits go, I’m not mad about this As far as NYE outfits go, I’m not mad about this one...🐻🥂 I hope you’re all well and excited to bid farewell to 2020. I know the clock striking midnight doesn’t fundamentally change anything but I’m hopeful that we can look forward with more optimism. I always find the turn of the year really emotionally complex. I’m not even going to attempt to unpack this last one other than to rejoice that even amongst the lowest of lows there have been highs. My beloved Nan won’t see the new year, which is hard to contemplate. I also married my best friend. This time last year I was miserable on the sofa, a day after surgery for our first miscarriage and wishing I could press pause on life. Tonight I’m still on the sofa, but full and at peace rather than empty and grieving, looking forward. For us, 2021 will see the birth of our little cub so it’s one that I’m welcoming with open arms. So much can change in a year and I hope you can seek comfort in that. However you’re feeling tonight, I’ll raise my alco-free bubbles to you because you did it: you made it through one of the toughest years in history. Brighter days are coming ☀️💓
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