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Beth Sandland

Coming Off the Pill: How I Feel Three Months On

09/05/2018 · LIFESTYLE, MENTAL HEALTH, WELLNESS

Coming Off the Pill: How I Feel Three Months later, coming off the pill, what happens when you come off the pill, periods after coming off the pill, skin after the pill, Kings road, Chelsea, blue floral dress, round straw bag

A little while ago I shared my decision to cease taking the contraceptive pill in favour of letting my body do it’s thing (whatever that may be). Three months – and four periods – later, I figured an update may be due. Spoiler: I’m not pregnant, I haven’t grown scales and my boobs have not shrunk.

There were certain things I was most concerned by when I decided to stop taking the pill and they went roughly in the following order: my skin going crazy, my periods become unpredictable, alternate contraception and – after a well-meaning follower messaged me on Instagram to tell me that it’s a thing – my boobs shrivelling up and falling off. Okay, not quite, but it was a very real concern and whilst I promise a quarterly review of my menstrual cycle is not going to become a thing, I thought I’d address the above worries, and what actually happened.  In addition I’m going to talk about the impact on my mood and mental health, which was my main motivation for stopping in the first place.

As always, please be aware that this experience is wholly personal to me and won’t necessarily mirror or predict someone else’s. Particularly where medication and variables such as hormones are concerned, we are each so different.

Skin

When I first started taking the pill, aged 16, I was lucky not to have many skin concerns. My motivation was purely contraception-focused, so I wasn’t too worried that coming off of it would have any drastic impact on my face. That is until a handful of people messaged to tell me that coming off of the pill had caused acne breakouts in previously clear skin. Bollocks. I really fretted about this. Shallow or not, how I look on the outside is linked to how I feel on the inside and I just knew that an onslaught of angry ‘give us our fake hormones back!’ spots would cause me real stress. Thankfully, my skin has barely changed at all and if anything it’s actually less congested. If I was going to be really picky, I’d say perhaps my pores are a tiny bit bigger but that may just be due to the sweaty summer heat. I’ve still had the odd spot here and there, but they haven’t been any different than the ones I had when I was on the pill and tend to crop up in predictable areas (always the left side of my chin, never the right – why?!) around when I’m due on.

Coming Off the Pill: How I Feel Three Months later, coming off the pill, what happens when you come off the pill, periods after coming off the pill, skin after the pill, Kings road, Chelsea, blue floral dress, round straw bag

Periods & Cycle

I was fully prepared to not have a period for a few months after the pill. A lot of people had warned me it might happen and I had read about a delay being totally normal as the body regulates itself once the pill has been withdrawn. I’d sort of decided that I probably wouldn’t have a period for ages but that I’d keep a vague eye so that I could book a GP appointment if I was concerned at all. As such, I was actually quite excited when along came my period exactly when it was due, at the same duration – 4 days – and heaviness – not (I know, don’t hate me) – as before. The predictability of periods (or withdrawal bleeds) on the pill is definitely one of its big upshots, and one of my biggest apprehensions when considering coming off of it, so I was very relieved to find this concern was an unnecessary one.

Since, my cycle has been a very regular 28 days and I think I’ve actually had less surprise period bleeds ruining my favourite pyjamas then when I was on the pill, most likely because I’ve felt much more in touch with my own body and have kept track of where I am within my cycle using an app.

I can definitely tell when I’m ovulating by very light cramps and sore boobs which is a new one for me, as the pill works by stopping ovulation. When my period appears a couple of weeks later pain is minimal (I’ve never suffered with particularly bad cramps before or during the pill) and aside from feeling a little more tired and grouchy than usual, there isn’t much more to report there.

One thing I have noticed is that my discharge tends to change throughout my cycle. I now know from trusty Dr Google that discharge is actually really helpful in indicating changes in vaginal and menstrual health, as well as the female reproductive system as a whole, and whilst I definitely don’t sit on the loo analysing it, it does tend to alter a little in consistency as I move through my cycle. This doesn’t have any impact upon my life, but it’s nice to know my body is working away as it should.

Contraception

Once I’d made the decision to stop taking the pill, a big ‘what now?‘ question mark loomed over the topic of contraception. I considered the alternatives and discussed them at length but to be honest condoms were the only obvious choice. The coil or the implant have always seemed too invasive for my liking, and anyway, I really wanted to steer clear of hormonal intervention, at least for the time being, so that ruled out the patch and injections too.

Look, nobody really likes condoms but the reality is that they’re not a big deal. They’re also not as gross as you remember them being when you were a teenager, trying to handle a spotty pubescent male’s todger in one hand and a slimy piece of clingfilm in the other. As for killing the moment, they only become an issue if you make them one and actually, they’re a really safe option too. But the real winner? No post-sex cum-run/mad, naked dash to the bathroom or icky bed sheets.

I find that the pill was ruining my sex drive almost to the point of complete depletion anyway, so it seemed really ironic and wholly pointless to be on it for contraceptive purposes and I’m definitely much happier now.

Boobs

My boobs definitely haven’t shrunk, they may have even grown a little. I’m probably a bit of a boring case study because I didn’t see any changes to my boobs (or skin, or really periods aside from the pill-induced clock-work schedule) when I went on the pill. I know for some people, they balloon and that might be where coming off it again can make a difference. What I have noticed is that they tend to be sore and heavier when I’m ovulating and when I’m due on (totally normal) and whilst it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world, I quite like that my body is telling me what it’s up to.

Coming Off the Pill: How I Feel Three Months later, coming off the pill, what happens when you come off the pill, periods after coming off the pill, skin after the pill, Kings road, Chelsea, blue floral dress, round straw bag

Mood & Mental Health

The biggie. The main reason I decided to stop taking the pill in the first place is because I realised that I literally did not know my adult self without it. Six and a half years after I first started taking it, it dawned on me that it might just be having an impact on my mood and my mental health and frankly, I wouldn’t be able to ascertain that without giving it up.

I’m very keen not to draw sweeping conclusions tying the pill to poor mental health but I have seen a huge improvement in my mood, energy and my sense of selfhood since coming off of it. The relief was almost instantaneous and within a week I felt so much calmer and more grounded, a little like a fog had lifted. Generally speaking I’m a fairly laid back person but I’ll be the first to admit that I do have a fiery temper. I was noticing on the pill that my irrational tendencies to freak out over a very small and insignificant thing, only to calm down and realise I’d lapsed into psycho bitch mode over a poorly-stacked dishwasher (yes…really) a few minutes later, were becoming more and more frequent. I could recognise that I was being ridiculous, but I really struggled to snap out of it. Since coming off of the pill I’ve found myself feeling more patient and more in check of my emotions.

As for my mental health, I’m in a really good place right now – especially with the weight of university lifted – and although I wouldn’t ever go as far as to blame the pill for my previous struggles with depression and anxiety, I do think that I’m in a better position to deal with whatever comes my way in the future because I feel more in charge of myself as a whole.

Perhaps my only caveat is PMS. Oh yes, I can tell when I’m due on not only because my app tells me so or my boobs are swollen, but because I am in one hell of a mood for a few days beforehand. This is definitely a new thing and it alleviates once my period actually arrives. Whilst I don’t like feeling angry at the world without a cause, it does feel like quite a good excuse to hide in the bathtub with a big glass of wine and a tub of ice cream.

Coming Off the Pill: How I Feel Three Months later, coming off the pill, what happens when you come off the pill, periods after coming off the pill, skin after the pill, Kings road, Chelsea, blue floral dress, round straw bag

So there we have it! I am in no way encouraging nor discouraging anyone to give up the pill but rather sharing in the hope that my experience is of interest to anyone uhhming and aahhing. I know I really wanted to hear from other people before I made the decision myself and whilst I ultimately decided based solely on my own merit, there are enough horror stories out there before for and against, that I’m quite pleased I can contribute something positive. If you’ve got any questions or there’s anything I haven’t covered then please do feel free to drop me a message on Instagram or in the comments below!

Posted In: LIFESTYLE, MENTAL HEALTH, WELLNESS

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Comments

  1. Sarah says

    09/05/2018 at 13:01

    This was such an interesting read! Thank you for keeping us up to date with that journey!

    Sarah
    http://www.sarahaurorax.com

    Reply
  2. Sam says

    09/05/2018 at 13:52

    Haaaha the dreaded cum-run!! Have to say it is definitely welcome to not deal with that.
    Thank you for such an in-depth and honest post.xx

    Reply
  3. Laura says

    09/05/2018 at 14:45

    Thank you for sharing your experience! I recently cane off the pill for very similar reasons and also wrote a post or 2 about it! It’s really nice to hear someone else’s experience too xx

    Reply
  4. Laura says

    09/05/2018 at 14:46

    Thank you for sharing your experience! I recently came off the pill for very similar reasons and also wrote a post or 2 about it! It’s really nice to hear someone else’s experience too xx

    Reply
  5. Saffy Dixon says

    09/05/2018 at 18:53

    I had the coil previously and have come off it and feel similar to you (from what I’m reading) I’m glad I’m not the only one who went a little crazy!

    Reply
  6. Lea says

    09/05/2018 at 19:07

    I did also stop taking the pill a few month ago, same reasons as you and I experienced exactly the same and I am pretty happy with my decision! I really appreciated that you talk about such privet topics and it was a pleasure to read you article! Greets and hugs from Germany!!

    Reply
  7. pinkserenityx says

    09/05/2018 at 19:09

    Such a good read darling! Love how you included mental health and mood! Glad your feeling great darling! Thank you for sharing your experience x x

    Reply
  8. pinkserenityx says

    09/05/2018 at 19:09

    Such a good read! Love how you included mental health and mood! Glad your feeling great darling! Thank you for sharing your experience x x

    Reply
  9. Chris says

    09/05/2018 at 19:35

    To be honest, I was put on the pill for regulating my irregular periods due to PCOS. It made my skin and hair better, BUT I gained around 5 kilos in the first 2 months on the pill. I was always hungry too! I went off the pill, lost the weight after a while. I had to go back on the pill a few years later also to regulate my period and again, weight gain. I stopped 2 months later. Not for me.

    I ended up taking an Ayurvedic herb called Dong Quai for about 3 months and voila regular periods without the nasty side effects.

    Thanks for being so honest, it was interesting to hear your experience. It’s true – all bodies are different.

    Reply
  10. Katherine says

    09/05/2018 at 20:52

    I looove how open and honest you are about this! I contemplated writing about my experience but didn’t think anyone would care. I totally care though lol. My experience has been about the opposite of yours. I was on the pill for exactly 10 years & I’ve only spotted twice over the past two months. My mental state & moods have been the most difficult, but I know my body is still trying to balance out. I’m actually going on a birth control “cleanse”. (It’s a thing!) lol but so happy that your experience has been positive! And I literally laughed out loud as you talked about condoms. 😂 #real

    Reply
  11. Charlotte says

    09/06/2018 at 07:24

    Im so happy to hear that you came off with no problems, it’s good to see a positive story among the hundreds of horrors! My favourite thing about coming off is how in tune with my body I have now become. Personally, I reached about 5 months post pill after it all going plain sailing and my body has kicked off. Big breakouts and irregular periods, which is so annoying but probably just my body doing it’s best to even out.

    Reply
  12. Fran says

    09/06/2018 at 12:45

    Beth, this had me laughing out loud! I have the arm implant contraceptive and it’s so intriguing hearing others experiences and how we are all so different. I’ve had a perfectly fine experience with it, and it made my sister’s hair go from ringlets to straight! Thank you for, as always, so candidly sharing your experiences!

    Reply
  13. Kate Mitchell says

    10/16/2018 at 12:20

    Thanks for sharing this is an interesting read, I have just come off the pill, about a week ago and it’s good to know that maybe the horror stories will not be true. I have been on this particular pill for 10 years but over my adult life probably 20 off and on, and I really felt like I needed to know my body and mind again.
    katescloset.uk

    Reply
  14. Miss Fairyfield says

    02/13/2019 at 18:15

    Thanks for sharing! I did the same thing about six months ago for the same reason. I wondered whether or not it was changing me and my emotions, having been on it for so long. Similarly to you too, I have also noticed my PMS. I am just so moody for a few days before. Sometimes very flat in mood. As soon as I’m on, the grumpy goes!
    Definitely feel happy knowing I’m more myself generally.
    Glad you’ve also had a positive experience generally!
    https://missfairyfieldwrites.home.blog/

    Reply

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I am a multi-award winning blogger, photographer and writer from London. I’ve travelled to over 38 countries, lived out of a backpack for a year and love to scuba dive! This site is a destination for all things travel, lifestyle and my successful online book club.

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📖 Reading: Your Baby, Your Birth by Hollie de Cruz is next on my bedside table.
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#27weekspregnant #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #secondtrimester 
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Here are 3 titles I’ve read recently (and rated 5/5 - I’m a harsh critic) that are perfect if you need a pick me up or some escapism...
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1. The Authenticity Project by Clare Pooley: an old man leaves a notebook in a cafe for a stranger to find telling his ‘truth’ and challenging them to do the same. The catalyst for a web of unusual friendships and genuine, warm characters...
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2. Educated by Tara Westover: a memoir that reads a little like a fiction depicting Tara’s life growing up in a strict Mormon family in Idaho with a survivalist father who is battling undiagnosed mental illness. They don’t believe in formal education or medicine and any form of governance is the work of the Illuminati. Covers some heavy themes (tw: abuse) and is extremely interesting and engaging.
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3. Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams: sometimes laugh out loud funny, sometimes poignantly sad, Queenie is a vivacious twenty-something growing up as a black woman in an ever gentrifying south London. A crap boyfriend, covert racism and a battle with anxiety paint a backdrop whilst she navigates daily life. It’s excellent!
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Hit save for later or tag someone who needs some reading inspo 📚 What’s the best book you’ve read recently?
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#26weeks #rainbowbaby🌈 #secondtrimester #pregnancyafterloss
I loved being a pregnant bride. Often a baby is a I loved being a pregnant bride. Often a baby is a reason to delay or speed up a wedding (lots assumed that was the case for us, but it wasn’t!) and is generally seen as perhaps spoiling things a little. It’s totally fine if you do feel that way, but for us it made it extra magical. It felt totally right to have our little bub between us as we exchanged vows and I was happy to embrace the bump in my dress. I still chose exactly the look and fit I wanted and wore the sparkly heels and in a way, I found trying dresses on much lower pressure as I wasn’t worrying about my figure. Perhaps the biggest difference was staying sober and the fact that we had a tiny wedding with a fancy lunch rather than a party probably made this a lot easier. I raised a toast with our four guests but beyond that, I didn’t have any inclination to drink anyway. Bonus - a great nights sleep and no hangover! 🥂👰🏻
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Photographer: @victoriasomersethowphotography
Dress: ASOS
Box fresh kicks ready to explore [from the bedroom Box fresh kicks ready to explore [from the bedroom to the kitchen, to the loo...aaand repeat]...at least they’ll stay clean 🥴☕️
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Type into browser: https://rstyle.me/cz-n/ewjdwzcbq2x (junior size 🤑 if under a UK 5.5)
AD: Pregnancy has given me a lot of time to reflec AD: Pregnancy has given me a lot of time to reflect on my relationship with alcohol over the last year. 🍸 I flitted between giving it up when pregnant or for fertility purposes, then using it as an emotional crutch in loss which made me more anxious and restless. This time - now 6 months pregnant - I haven’t had a drink since August and have been really pleasantly surprised by how little I’ve missed it, even over the festive season. I’m not into vilifying booze; I enjoy a couple of drinks and even the feeling of lowered inhibitions and being tipsy. But I know that even post-pregnancy and the other-side of the hazy newborn/breastfeeding days, I’ll try and maintain a far more positive relationship with alcohol which for me, looks like indulging lightly and occasionally.
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Having access to brilliant alcohol-free alternatives makes this significantly easier. My favourite gin distillers, Salcombe Gin, are behind the @NewLondonLight; a 0% spirit that doesn’t compromise on taste. So whether you’re pregnant, doing Dry January or simply attempting to live lighter, you can still enjoy a Sunday evening tipple. How do you feel about the alcohol free movement?
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Get 20% off with code ‘NLL20Beth’ 🍊 #NewLondonLight #LiveLightNLL #NLL
Top 5 Books I read in 2020 ☕️ ~
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Where the Crawdads Sing, Delia Owens: totally captivating, unusual and enchanting. I literally devoured this one!
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Queenie, Candice Carty-Williams: as well as being laugh out loud funny, Queenie is also an education. A must read on what it’s like to be a young black woman growing up in London. Also tackles mental health really well!
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The Flatshare, Beth O’Leary: I recommend this to anyone who just really needs a hug from a genuinely enjoyable book. It’s warm and lovely but offers depth well beyond your usual chick lit too.
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Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi: this novel is such a triumph! Spanning over 300 years from pre-colonial Ghana to present day USA, each chapter follows a new character in the lineage of two sisters. One sold to slavery, the other married to an English coloniser. It’s sweepingly powerful and incredibly well written. I could’ve read an entire book on each character!
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A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman: Ove was the very first book I read in 2020 and it stuck with me throughout the year. At its most basic, it’s the story of a cantankerous old man. Delve a little deeper and it’s funny, heartbreaking and incredibly heartwarming. I just love Ove!
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Hit the ‘save’ button to come back to this list when you’re in need of a good read! What were your books of the year? 📚
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PS. If more reading, less scrolling is one of your 2021 goals too then don’t forget you can come and join us at @bethsbookclub_ 😎
2 0 2 1: the year of you 🕊🤍
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Happy new year saucepots! We had an ultra rock n’ roll night (read our books in bed then watched the midnight fireworks - that was a nice surprise! - on a phone before falling promptly to sleep...) and today is all about a long walk, a longer bath, books and tea. And obviously starting a new diary because isn’t fresh stationary the best thing about a new year?!
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Are you setting New Years’ resolutions? I prefer a bit of reflection and mindset shifting. This year it’s all about setting firm positive boundaries, protecting my energy and saying no to things/people that don’t serve that. I like the new year, not for the ‘new me’ noise but rather as a chance to let go and embrace a fresh beginning again. ⚡️☕️
As far as NYE outfits go, I’m not mad about this As far as NYE outfits go, I’m not mad about this one...🐻🥂 I hope you’re all well and excited to bid farewell to 2020. I know the clock striking midnight doesn’t fundamentally change anything but I’m hopeful that we can look forward with more optimism. I always find the turn of the year really emotionally complex. I’m not even going to attempt to unpack this last one other than to rejoice that even amongst the lowest of lows there have been highs. My beloved Nan won’t see the new year, which is hard to contemplate. I also married my best friend. This time last year I was miserable on the sofa, a day after surgery for our first miscarriage and wishing I could press pause on life. Tonight I’m still on the sofa, but full and at peace rather than empty and grieving, looking forward. For us, 2021 will see the birth of our little cub so it’s one that I’m welcoming with open arms. So much can change in a year and I hope you can seek comfort in that. However you’re feeling tonight, I’ll raise my alco-free bubbles to you because you did it: you made it through one of the toughest years in history. Brighter days are coming ☀️💓
24 weeks on the 24th December. 🌈🤍
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This day exactly a year ago we felt like the world had been pulled out from under our feet after learning that our first baby wasn’t destined to grow and come home with us. I grieved that loss deeply but I never regretted it because of all that it brought us too: weeks of joy, the realisation that we were ready for a family, a greater understanding of motherhood and of life - that it simply isn’t something you can plan. And now, new life.
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Now I sit here, 6 months pregnant with a child wriggling inside me that I can’t fathom being without. It’s so very complex because without the losses we experienced, this baby that we already love wildly and unconditionally simply wouldn’t exist. I don’t believe that ‘everything happens for a reason’ is any consolation but I do think our losses are a vital part of our story as much as this healthy pregnancy is, so in a confusing, incoherent way, I’m thankful for them.
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24 weeks is a huge milestone because in terms of gestation it’s known as the ‘viability’ mark. Our baby is officially a registrable human being and a ‘miscarriage’ is no longer a medical possibility. This is a day I’ve been really looking forward to! Thank you for continuing to hope with us, and know that we’re holding on to it extra tight for anyone struggling for whatever reason.
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Keep cooking away in there little one, growing you is the greatest joy. 🌱🤍
(Ad) GIVEAWAY! WIN A LUXURY SPA BREAK FOR TWO 😍 (Ad) GIVEAWAY! WIN A LUXURY SPA BREAK FOR TWO 😍🧖🏼‍♀️
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Start 2021 with something special to look forward to. Who couldn’t use some pampering and R&R after the year we’ve had?! The Spa at Carden is a brand new £10 million ultra luxe indoor and outdoor spa nestled in the award-winning Carden Park Hotel’s extensive grounds, just outside of Chester.
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THE PRIZE: a lucky winner will win a one night spa break for two including a spa day, a 50 minute treatment each, a double or twin room and a full English or continental breakfast! Valid for all of 2021 subject to availability.
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TO ENTER:
• Follow me @bethsandland and @thespaatcarden 
• Tag a friend below!
• Unlimited entries (tag in separate comments)
• Share to stories for a bonus entry!
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INFO: Closes 22/12/20. Winner announced 23rd December by  me on *THIS ACCOUNT* - please do not engage with any fake/scam accounts claiming to know the winner! This giveaway is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Instagram. This post is unpaid but marked as ‘ad’ due to the commercial nature of giveaways.
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GOOD LUCK 🥰🎄
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(AD) I had a very productive day of Elf duties as (AD) I had a very productive day of Elf duties as we finished off the Christmas shopping to add to the bits we’ve ordered online! Now to pour a Faileys (faux Baileys...) and get wrapping up with Home Alone on in the background...
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If you haven’t finished your shopping yet then checkout @mandmdirect - the home of designer brands with up to 75% off! I did some of my Christmas shopping there and picked this cosy outfit up for myself too. The jumper dress was £8.99, the coat less than half price at £29.99 and the hat £5.99 (all non maternity)! You can also find Uggs on there with some huge savings...See my stories for some brilliant gift ideas for tricky recipients, with delivery guaranteed in time for Christmas 🎅🏼🎄
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Have you finished your shopping yet? Do you enjoy it or find it a chore? I love thinking about what to get each person, but it can definitely get overwhelming!
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